Thoughts from Jamie

I have recently been called “dearheart”, a combination of words that cause a poignant response deep within your soul. God led me to look up the exact definition this morning…

an affectionate soubriquet for the person that has woken your heart and dispelled your misgivings about the world at large.

It reminds me that we are able to love because we were first loved by our Father God. The result of being loved by our Dearheart allows us to be dearhearts for the rest of the world. May this ring true within your own life this day.

I’ve been preparing some songs for this Saturday’s performance. Someone suggested that I cover a Jon Foreman song, so the hunt began for the right song. I listened through all of his Seasonal EP’s last night and was captured by the beauty of this song. I am captured because it is my daily song, my prayer, my cry. I am captured because this is reality. I had to share. For more information on Saturdays show, click here..

Heavenly Father, You always amaze me
Let your kingdom come in my world, and in my life
Give me the food I need to live through today
And forgive me as I forgive me the people that wrong me

Lead me far from temptation, deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window, the birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune, or out of place

I walk to the meadow, and stare at the flowers
That are dressed in any girl on her wedding day

So why should I worry? Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need, You know what I need

Your love is, your love is, your love is, strong

The kingdom of the heavens, is now advancing
Invade my heart, invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens is buried treasure
Would you sell your self to buy the one you found

Two things you told me, that you are strong
And you love me, yes, you love me…

Your love is, your love is, your love is, strong

Our God in Heaven / hallowed be thy name above all names
Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread, forgive us weary sinners
Keep us far from our vices and deliver us from these prisons

I was driving to house church this past sunday morning, taking my new route down a scenic country road. My thoughts were on my mom and her death four years ago yesterday. There were fields on my left and right, golden stained from the fall sun, trees with aging leaves putting on a glorious show as their days come to an end. God spoke simply and quietly to my heart, death is beautiful..

I remember hearing this four years ago when my mom passed away. I knew it to be true ever since, but there was something about the magnitude of this reminder. This really put my heart in a state to celebrate her life on earth, her death, and her new life.

I met my sister in Boone yesterday for an outdoor lunch overlooking miles of mountain peaks. Because of God’s whisper to my heart the day before, it ended up being one of the best November 3rd’s that I have had in the last 4 years.

“So Hold on to the promise, the stories are true, My Jesus makes all things new “
— Andrew Peterson, All Things New

There is something about rainy days that just fill my heart with joy. It is even more special when the weather begins to cool and fall approaches. Sadly, the majority of the people I know would disagree with my pleasure in such “nasty” weather.

I often wonder why I feel so alive when it rains. As I think back I can recall special memories that involve rain, and those will last forever. There was the time as a 10 year old boy when I was riding my bike through the neighborhood. It was practically the best day ever and out of nowhere a thin band of rain came over and passed in a matter of seconds. Then there were the times of running at cross country practice with the guys - stomping through mud, laughing, and living in the moment.

When I lived in Alaska for the summer of 2004 I would walk to one of the churches we were working with in Juneau. One day there was a steady rain, as is common in the rainforest. It was beautiful. That summer began at First Baptist in Juneau and the pastor would start each morning with a song.

It’s a beautiful day / And I thank God for the weather / It’s a beautiful day / I’m living it for the Lord / It’s a beautiful day / And things are going to get better / Living each day on the promises in God’s word.

It’s a beautiful and catchy song that gets stuck in your mind, and what better truth to keep in your mind. So no matter what weather you’re facing, be it literally or figuratively, may you find the joy to live in the moment and lean on the promises of God.

After graduating college I left on an 8,000± mile journey across these great states. My life was filled with playing shows, eating fast food, driving, sleeping in crummy hotels, and sometimes even in the car. All of these were great memories, but he most memorable moments during that journey were found in the people that I met along the way.

Last night after I played at a local church we went out to eat. I realized during this time how much I missed those moments of engaging with new people - in new places. From the great folks in Brownsville, TX, to the people at Calvary Chapel in Tempe, AZ, or spending hours with a house full of college students sharing our life stories and songs that we have written in Fortuna, CA; these are just a few of the memories and new friendships that will remain for a lifetime.

This was God bringing up something even more deeper to my mission. It’s something that I have felt strongly for the past few years but have been worried about the provision. It’s interesting to see how God instructs me on trusting Him for provision before this next step becomes clear.

The calling that God put on my life in 1998 was clear. God was going to use me to reach people for Christ and make their lives better, it was my initial call into missions. Here I am today as a missionary with New Wilderness Adventures. These last two years I have stood back in the shadows as a supporter and behind the scenes guy for everything going on with the ministry, while gaining back more of my heart. While I was doing that God was growing a deep desire within me to travel and minister to guys along the way, maybe even taking guys along a journey with me. I’m not sure of the details but I do know that this desire is going to come to fruition in the near future. This is part of my own ministry and mission within the umbrella of New Wilderness.

The shadows of time point to today, and today is the time to step out of the shadows.

The previous blog is a joyous time for me. It’s stretching me on my journey as a young man, as a follower of God. It’s not an easy road paved with flowers. There are trials, there are tough times, there is an enemy who is set out to kill, steal and destroy everything that is good about who I am.

When I wrote that I felt abandoned, that is a lie of the enemy. That has been the assault over my entire life. Things being taken from me, resulting in me feeling alone. Out of that assault I have developed the false belief that I can not ask anyone for support as a missionary, I will always get rejected and turned down. That was the majority of my experience when I tried to fundraise in the beginning.

Now that I’m at this transition part, it’s all coming back to the surface. With God leading me to stay with the ministry, I will have to raise funds, and that is a scary thing for me. Those lies aren’t true, because I have people to rely on, I have a God who will supply for me all of my needs. That is why I shared the story about my shaving cream bottle… God was teaching me a parable in person about how he provides.

don’t fret over the false belief that I am in some way suffering, for I am not. However, if God does bring something up within you after reading this then I would ask you to consider partnering up with me and the mission to reach people for Christ. Would you consider giving - not that bills are paid - but that we as missionaries would be equipped abundantly to reach more men and families for Christ. If you would like to donate, visit www.newwildernessadventures.com/ and click on donate.

There are times in a mans life where he stands on a cliffs edge and is pushed off into the unknown. Today I write as that man. I won’t go into details on here, but to let everyone know I am in the transition of no longer pulling a steady salary from New Wilderness, relying solely on God and specific donors. A day after this was decided I was driving around and it hit me like a freight train.

I can be a stubborn man when it comes to brokenness and tears, but they came. the tears. the confusion. facing so much frustration with God. was this the enemy? Of course. But there is so much more happening, God after me in some way. wounding me in this place (so perfectly and precisely I might add), for something more I still dont quite understand, yet. But I cried, and put my hearts offering to Jesus, and my longing, and my need. and it felt so raw, so true of the deepest longing of my soul, that I knew it was God. And this was the center of where I needed to be.

I realize that the deeper issue is me not trusting the heart of God. Ultimately, I feel abandoned as I journey on this earth. There is nobody that I can turn to if I faced financial trouble. My mother would have sacrificed everything if I were in trouble — yet she is gone to a better place. The relationship with my dad is so distant that I have never asked him for help. For the past four years I realized that I had to do this on my own. What a bad place to be.

I have a can of shaving gel that has been used for over a year and a half. I swear it has been almost empty for the last 6 months, yet every other morning I am able to get a hand full of shaving gel. And every morning I think I will have to pick up a can the next time I’m at the store. But I haven’t. For 18 months. I haven’t.

I am tired of thinking I have to make all of the plans and arrangements to have enough money to pay rent and all of my other bills. I am tired of being this distant from God, not trusting his heart. I am tired.

How will this journey end? Will God fund me, us as a ministry? Maybe. I hope. It feels like the only way to get out of this mess. but as I write, I am just raw with that sense God gives, God takes away. Dust we are made, dust we will return. the often futility of work, and the curse on this earth. you will sweat, and work your butt off, and it will produce thistle for you.

and for some reason, though that feels so fatalistic, and without hope, I dont believe that is the deepest meaning of those phrases. or that it means to give up. But somehow, that God is over all things. supreme. and ruler. and in the midst of pain, hurt, and confusion, and still tears, I am simply called to trust. God will do what he will. And I am to submit, knowing his heart is GOOD, and I am in him. I am called to wake up from this, offer these words as a sacrifice, and head to my next appointment. In hope, and believing deeply that the gel will still be flowing in the morning.

I spent most of my Labor Day thinking back through my life and the numerous adventures that I have been blessed to have taken part. That nostalgic journey led me to a week I spent at the remote village of Tenakee Springs, Alaska. My week on the island occurred towards the end of my summer in the southeast part of the state.

Tenakee Springs (population 100, on a good day) is a place where stories are waiting to be told. As I thought back it reminded me of the Shire in some regards. The main road through the village was a dirt path, barely wide enough for a four wheeler. With there being no cars on the island it became the quietest place I have ever experienced. There are tons of stories I could share from the community bathing house at the hot springs, to the bear encounters. But there is one in particular that hit my heart heavy today.

The second day there we were invited to a birthday party/celebration. The entire village came out to play music, eat food, share laughs… for a guy who has been dead for two years. I thought it was the strangest thing ever at the time, but now as I look back I see the beauty of a life well lived. It makes me wonder if people would miss me after I’m gone. Would there be a reason for a community to gather and celebrate over the impact that I have left from living my life?

I posted a quote from the movie Troy a few posts ago and it bears worthy of mentioning again…

Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. And so we ask ourselves: will our actions echo across the centuries? Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone, and wonder who we were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved?

Tonight a friend of mine will give the benediction at the Democratic National Convention. Don Miller is an amazing man who not only has written a few popular books, but has a heart and mission for social justice. For instance, he just rode a bicycle across the states to help raise money for Blood:Water Mission, which helps the water crisis in Africa.

Anyways, soon he will deliver this prayer. I would like to share it with you.

“Father God,

This week, as the world looks on, help the leaders in this room create a civil dialogue about our future.

We need you, God, as individuals and also as a nation.

We need you to protect us from our enemies, but also from ourselves, because we are easily tempted toward apathy.

Give us a passion to advance opportunities for the least of these, for widows and orphans, for single moms and children whose fathers have left.

Give us the eyes to see them, and the ears to hear them, and hands willing to serve them.

Help us serve people, not just causes. And stand up to specific injustices rather than vague notions.

Give those in this room who have power, along with those who will meet next week, the courage to work together to finally provide health care to those who don’t have any, and a living wage so families can thrive rather than struggle.

Hep us figure out how to pay teachers what they deserve and give children an equal opportunity to get a college education.

Help us figure out the balance between economic opportunity and corporate gluttony.

We have tried to solve these problems ourselves but they are still there. We need your help.

Father, will you restore our moral standing in the world.

A lot of people don’t like us but that’s because they don’t know the heart of the average American.

Will you give us favor and forgiveness, along with our allies around the world.

Help us be an example of humility and strength once again.

Lastly, father, unify us.

Even in our diversity help us see how much we have in common.

And unify us not just in our ideas and in our sentiments—but in our actions, as we look around and figure out something we can do to help create an America even greater than the one we have come to cherish.

God we know that you are good.

Thank you for blessing us in so many ways as Americans.

I make these requests in the name of your son, Jesus, who gave his own life against the forces of injustice.

Let Him be our example.

Amen.”

Amen.

Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. And so we ask ourselves: will our actions echo across the centuries? Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone, and wonder who we were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved?

Last night I had trouble sleeping so I decided to rent the directors cut of Troy. The movie could have ended after these opening lines and I would have felt satisfied. There is a hero within all of us that is waiting to break out. It is after-all what God had in mind all along when he formed us within the womb.

The good news is that our actions here on earth will echo across generations and more. In the movie Gladiator, Maximus mentions that what we do here on earth will echo in eternity. The hero within each of us will leave a legacy not only of our own name — but that of Christ as well.